Happiness is unreal. Our own instincts are designed against it. There are thousands of books on the topic of Happiness. The self help industry is basically obsessed with this subject. But it is not a natural state of our minds. If it were, why then would we need to learn to be happy?
Comparison is our mother. We evolved from monkeys. What did you expect? C’mon, we don’t invent our needs. We identify with what others need. We crave for more, for better version of what they have. Until, we have it all. (which basically is never 😎 ). That instinct to compare, leaves us unsatisfied. I knew this guy from school. He was so dumb. Couldn’t write a sentence without a spelling error. Wonder how he landed that job. 🙄 I wish.. blah blah.. Why on earth is she so thin? She looks so damn good in that pink dress. Ohh god! When will I loose some weight. Crib! Crib!
We have an urge to belong. Humans are social. We live in herds. That desire to fit in comes in very natural. It is what makes us do “adjustments”. We adapt ourselves constantly to keep up with the rest. So what, if you moved to a new country. What? They don’t speak English there? Ohh, okay. You can adjust. (yourself & your expectations). You can speak a new language. Years pass. Arghh, this is so tough! (sorry, we can’t teach you no more, you just don’t belong!). That urge to belong somewhere can be really exhausting.
We are constantly searching “the Meaning”. We love to believe in destiny. They say, “everything happens for a reason”. So we spend our whole lives, searching for that purpose. We try find meaning in whatever the heck we do. So, you frustrated with your life yet? Can’t do that work, eat, play no more? Planning kids? Hell yeah! Of course, we were born to multiply!
At any given time, we live in all three dimensions of time. Believe me! We already have a time machine. Every living moment, we traverse through three time zones – The past, the present and that glorious future. If you look back now, the past seems beautiful.(It may have sucked at that point!). We tweak our past, every time we think about it.
The future on other hand, is a promising dream. We gather a wish list every time we think about it. That past & the future are benchmark to the present. So imagine living through these three eras in a single instant. Does that make you feel depressed about your present? Does it seem miserable somehow? That tendency to time travel leads to disappointment, leaving us unhappy.
We are scared of unknown. You wanna know what happens after that vaccine comes? You die from its side effects instead of Covid itself. You think dying is dreadful? Imagine living with a lousy lung for the rest of your life. Uncertainty scares the hell out of us. In the monkey mode that we operate , we can’t cope with new problems. That’s why we are obsessed with finding standard solutions. Our theories publicize solutions. That makes us comfortable to navigate our journey.
Imagine happiness as a theory to navigate living. It makes us hopeful. It makes us feel content with life. Would we strive for it, if nobody talks about it? Or would we start accepting ourselves (& that bag full of crappy feelings)?
Happiness is a myth. Acceptance is the key.
© Copyright 2020. Megha Gupta. All rights reserved.