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  • Are you being overly defensive?

    Have you been in a situation before where you came out defensive? Did someone set your alarms off or did you bring up your shield even before the attack occur? Were you called overly emotional or perhaps close minded? Maybe you were protecting yourself from an unpleasant feeling. Maybe you were avoiding a responsibility. Or perhaps, you were protecting that fragile ego of yours?

    All of us have been defensive at some point in our lives. Admit it! Whatever the heck the reason be, our defensive self can turn a neutral situation into a war. Do you realize when you are being defensive? Or do they commit the offense of telling you that? (Shoot them!). In this post, I share a glimpse of some defensive episodes. Maybe, you recognize some of them? I certainly don’t. [just being defensive] 😎

    Episode 1 : It’s not my Fault.

    Ever felt blamed for something that you didn’t want to own? Did you just dissociate yourself from the situation completely? Is that your natural skill or have you become an expert at dodging the blame at someone else?

    Maybe, its time to let go the fault finding and admit your fault. Nah?Then, maybe you can get back at them by merely stating the fact – their criticism invoked your defense mechanism. 😆

    Episode 2 : Why do I have to justify myself ?

    Have you been to an awkward interview where you wish you had not come? Why? Was that sadist interviewer questioning your worth? Or was he psychoanalyzing your reaction?

    Well, your need for validation could have made you sound defensive. You might as well have boasted your credentials at the slightest sound of rejection, but that didn’t help you win his confidence.

    Maybe, you now feel glad that you were not selected. Think hard! Are you now protecting yourself from feeling dismissed? 🙄

    Episode 3: There is a deeper meaning to this

    Did you ever start an argument from a subtle remark someone made? Why? Did it pinch you that deep? Did it bring up bad memories from the past? Is that why you decide to go full on defensive?

    Overthinking can make you overly sensitive. You may simply overreact to protect yourself from your own insecurities.

    So, next time, pack your argument for a different moment. That way, they can’t figure out, if you are being defensive! 👿

    Episode 4 : Let me take back the control

    Perhaps, you felt like you were loosing control. Was there a situation where you thought, your opinions didn’t matter? Did you feel undervalued ? How did you cope with your looming identity crisis?

    Projecting your anger is often another way of self defense. It has twofold benefits – 1. It satisfies your impulse to feel powerful. 2. It scares the hell out of the person trying to undermine your existence.

    No matter who comes out victorious from this power play, it sure has some financial downturn.

    Episode 5: Offense is the best defense

    “You don’t have to live your life the way they ask you to. You are your own master.” Did somebody just challenge that conviction? Did it awaken the warrior in you? 😳

    Sometimes, offense is the best mechanism to protect yourself from a hurtful experience. While the consequences can be grave, who the f*ck cares about them when following instincts! 😎

    The End

    Being defensive is not unnatural. In fact we were all born with a “Survival Instinct” – our basic self defense mechanism. It ensures our physical well being but does not care much for our emotional front. So, as we grow up in this demented world, we enhance our defense structures to protect our ego, our confidence, our basic need to feel content with ourselves.

    Being overly defensive, however, is a problem. It can affect you and your relationships badly. In a bid to protect your own self, you might completely isolate yourself. Perhaps, your dear ones think you can let go that shield of yours? What do you think? Would it hurt to be more vulnerable than being overly defensive?

    © Copyright 2020. Megha Gupta. All rights reserved.

  • Why I don’t want to go to Eiffel (anymore)

    When I moved to Europe, travelling to Paris was on top of my check list and Eiffel tower was a “Must See”. I’d seen umpteen classics with Eiffel tower set in the background, a beautiful sunset and a surprising proposal that completed a romantic setting. I was in awe of the awe created around Eiffel.


    Bonjour Paris

    So a few years back, when I was in Paris for the first time, seeing the Eiffel tower from a distance brought up a great deal of excitement.

    As the hop on hop off bus took circles around the city, I turned my head 360 degrees to get a glimpse of the tower from every angle

    Outside the Eiffel

    As soon as I got off the bus, I was surrounded by desperate roadside mongers. They saw me looking at those tiny Eiffel miniatures and pounced at once with their discount offers.

    I ended up buying three Eiffels, one for each corner of my home. (at least that’s what I think now, I bought them for).

    Satisfied with my haggling skills, I headed towards the actual Eiffel.

    Is everyone in Paris, standing here?

    At first sight, it was not the Eiffel that grabbed my attention but rather that two km long queue to the Eiffel. I couldn’t believe that all those people were lined up to see the tower. It was peak of the summer and all angry, tired and sweaty tourists were lined up in a day-long queue.

    Soon, I became one of them.

    After three gruesome hours

    By the time, it was my turn to enter the Eiffel, I was almost on my knees

    I was exhausted from standing three hours straight and I remember shifting my weight over each leg every few minutes. Every time someone left the queue, I jumped on my feet to quickly move ahead. A single miss and four new people would squeeze in the queue. 😡

    I was glad, I had an empty bladder before starting the Eiffel marathon. 😎

    Finally, On top of the Eiffel tower

    At the Eiffel, they offered two options to climb the tower – either stairs or elevator. I chose the latter as I simply couldn’t imagine climbing 600+ stairs to the top. 😯

    From the top of the Eiffel, Paris looked like a Lego city.

    If you’ve been on the top of any tower, you probably know what the city looks like from a distance. Eiffel was no different in that sense. Except that it consumed every ounce of my energy to get to the top of this tower. So, in the end I just felt proud of my brave victory.

    I remember every corner of the tower was occupied with someone taking a selfie. I too, squeezed in between to have a picture, classically titled “On the top of the Eiffel”.

    At last, It was over

    After spending close to five hours in this overhaul, it was time to sit back and relax. I took an hour long river cruise over Seine (which was easy to get into) for sight seeing the city. The Eiffel was lit beautifully and I could see a picture perfect Eiffel even from a distance.

    And just then the Eiffel started twinkling in the night. Mesmerized by this view, I couldn’t stop thinking why I went through all that trouble of climbing the Eiffel. 🙄

    For what it’s worth – Let me announce the visit

    It didn’t make sense to visit the Eiffel if no one around me knew about that “wonderful” visit.

    As someone had to be the torch bearer of maintaining the awe of Eiffel, I went ahead to announce my Eiffel visit 😛

    Side effects

    Looking at those wonderful pictures, my friends and family decided to put Eiffel in their wish list. So when they came over to visit me last year, I ended up going to Eiffel two more times. 😥

    I survived.

    And since then I stopped promoting Eiffel.

    I’ve been there. Done that. I don’t wanna be there any more.

    © Copyright 2020. Megha Gupta. All rights reserved.

  • What is it like to be around “Resentful People”

    Disclaimer : This is not a self help article , so don’t be worried about getting any free advice. 😛 If you are looking for some, you are better off reading LinkedIn posts that offer “Superhuman” tips to deal with resentment.

    Over years, I have noticed there could be several sources of resentment. So, how do you know where the bitterness is really coming from? Do you even realize what just happened to you was an act of resentment?

    Well, I might have not mastered dealing with resentful people but I certainly have made some progress in identifying its several forms. 😎

    Do you recognize any of these not so pleasant episodes of resentment?

    1. Let me hold it back .. To throw it back

    Have you encountered someone who seems to be holding onto something? Who often makes subtle references to it BUT when you talk about it -THEY SAY NOTHING. Chances are – they are piling up surprises for you in their Santa Claus bag.

    Then one day, when you are with them, trying to fix something, you notice that eerie silence surrounding you. You think you are doing it right and just then you screw it up. That’s when, then they let it all out.

    Did you anticipate that shriek – “I told you but you never listen” ? That’s just their bottled up disappointment in you (a root of resentment), waiting till this moment.

    2. You talking to me? I wasn’t the one being Promoted

    Have you worked with a friend who was super nice but suddenly became grumpy after that promotion of yours? Did you feel like you were talking to walls when you were asking for their help or venting about your new role? Is it just you or have they also withdrawn from others?

    Unfortunately, the world is unfair and your friend might have realized this later than you think. So, they leave you all alone to battle this crazy world. It’s just their way of revenging humanity.

    That feeling of how the world is unfair, can root in some long and strong resentment.

    3. The Perils of Parenthood

    There was a time in my life when everyone around me was having kids. All my social feeds were filled with cute baby pics and it made me introspect the purpose of my life. 🙄

    But, then I met this dear friend of mine who unlocked the other side of this story. She wished so often to go back to her good old days that it felt like she regretted having a kid. 😆

    Having kids can make you go nuts. Kids don’t sleep. They don’t always eat. They are almost always hyperactive.They love to play but with YOU and not their TOYS. And if you disagree with any of these, crying comes to them as natural as walking. You might think that you are taming them but in reality – They are taming You.

    If you notice a parent constantly bickering about their kid, you’d know where this resentment is coming from – regrets due unrealistic expectations and wishful thinking.

    4. I don’t trust you No More

    Have you ever received this ultimatum in last relationships – It’s either me or her? A study says most times this question ends up in a divorce. So, if I were you (who faced this deadly choice), I would vest all my energy in searching the root cause.

    Have you been showering compliments around while your wife stood staring, next to you ? Have you been graciously displaying your manners to co-workers when everyone at home knows you as a Couch Potato? Did you forget to praise your partner in that lovely green dress? If the answer to any of these is YES, I think we all know why you received this ultimatum. 😆

    Your split personality has been causing quite some insecurity. It destroyed the little trust your partner had in you, resulting in a boiling resentment.

    5. And Sometimes, It’s just Chain Reaction

    So, you got yelled at office today or someone humiliated you publicly? Does that make you feel like a “Nobody”? Do you feel powerless? Chances are – whatever you are feeling right now has the potential to release the monstrosity hormone, that will help you take back control. It might as well result in chain resentment where everybody is just trying to find some balance.

    The hunger to be in charge or feel powerful has carved some very Lunatic Resentful people in this world. I hope you are not one of them and neither are you planning to become one. 😉

    Anyhow, I had enough of sharing these not so pleasant episodes in a single day. The only point I am trying to convey here is that everyone is resentful at some point in their life. They might just not realize it at that moment. And the cause of this resentment is often within them (not external).

    While it feels bad to be at the receiving end of resentment, it is no party for the resentor either.Those who resent are sufferers themselves.

    So, the next time you meet a bitter person, I hope you recognize his/her resentment and its origin. I hope you come out positive, feeling pity for the person.

    © Copyright 2020. Megha Gupta. All rights reserved.

  • How was my First experience of seeing the Northern Lights

    (Original photo – Sep 2019)

    In September 2019, my dream to see the Northern lights was fulfilled while I was in Iceland for a nine day trip.

    For those who do not know, the Northern lights (or aurora) is a “rare” phenomenon caused by electronically charged particles, that upon striking the atmosphere, release light. Unless, you are staying somewhere near the poles, it is highly unlikely that you can spot the Northern lights. There are in fact, some camping expeditions that take you for a week long trip (heavy on pockets) to witness this phenomenon.

    So, back in Sep when we were in Iceland, I felt really lucky to see these on just the second day of our trip. Since, it was such an event in my life, I will tell you what went behind the scenes of my first experience to see the Northern Lights.

    Before it happened, we needed a Camera

    Until the day we planned a trip to Iceland, we relied on our iPhone cameras for our trip photos. It was a handy way to take good pictures that always sufficed for our family albums. But this had to change. If there was even a slightest possibility to see auroras in our trip, we needed a camera that could capture this event.

    Our phone camera wasn’t smart enough to capture light movements in the sky. So, after reading umpteen blogs about what camera suits our need, we ended up buying Sony A6000 (that wasn’t cheap!).

    I remember the first day, I handled this camera with its tripod stand and how stupid I felt. I couldn’t capture anything better than what my iPhone already did and I wondered if I was even worthy of buying a professional camera. So, I spent the whole next week trying to learn how to operate the camera, what is meant by shutter speed, what is the aperture, etc etc- basically all that was needed to understand the required setting for capturing the Northern Lights.

    Just a day before our trip, I figured it all out. I read a wonderful post on how to capture aurora and saved those exact settings on my camera. I put it on my favourites list.

    We were finally camera ready for our trip.

    On the Night of the Main Event

    Since, Northern lights is a scarce occurrence, you have to track them like you track weather. We downloaded a few apps that gave this forecast information. There was even an index associated with the probability of viewing aurora. It ranged on a scale of 0 to 9, with 9 being the highest possibility of the event.

    That night, the index was close to 7 and the predicted time of occasion was 12:30 am.

    I remember being super sleepy after the day long trek. I thought 7 being less than 9, nothing might happen. So, I went to the bed in my cozy pyjama. My spouse of course was much more hopeful and he stayed awake.

    At 12:15 am that night, he shook me up. He shrieked excitedly, asked me to wake up and come outside. He explained that he saw some weird activity in the sky. It was a whitish moving wave. I couldn’t believe it was really happening. My first thought was – “what a pity it would be, if I were to miss the northern lights coz I am sleeping”. And with that fear in my mind, I woke up instantaneously.

    I was quick on my feet. Ready in a minute, in my pyjamas & cold jacket, I ran outside the cottage. My spouse carried the camera & tripod in his hand. We stood and watched the sky together. Northern lights were about to happen.

    Take the photos before it goes away

    What seemed like white waves in the sky, slowly turned greenish. What started as a small patch turned to spread across the sky. We saw gently moving greenish waves in the sky and all the stars shined through it. The sky was filled with shades of green and it was so beautiful. I bent down with the tripod and camera and clicked the first picture. Strangely, it turned out great. My saved setting was a savior.

    A couple stood next to us trying to fixate their camera. They seemed like experts to me because of their camera (which was much heavier than ours) and a full length tripod. We were very surprised when they asked us to share our settings. They were struggling to capture northern lights on their own and were very impressed by our first picture. Reluctantly, I shared a few of our settings and left out a tip – the aperture position. A moment later, another couple approached us for our settings and I quickly mumbled something, feeling guilty at the same time.

    Eventually, they both figured out the whole thing as they sat next to each other and started their own photo clicking spree. 😀 In hindsight, I can see now, how childish my attempt was to preserve the knowledge I gained from one week of my camera struggle. 😛 I swear, I am not that person anymore.

    The aurora lasted for around 30 mins and I kept thinking – This is the best thing I would ever see in my life. It indeed was! We clicked many photos, all capturing our silhouettes. Coz, yeah! you can’t capture your face when your camera is set for Northern lights. (technically speaking)

    I really wish I can see the aurora once more in this lifetime. Next time, with the index of 9. I hope we can plan another trip to Iceland, maybe in winter – when every night has the Northern lights.

    © Copyright 2020. Megha Gupta. All rights reserved.

  • Finally I’ve finished this 1000 pages book

    In the beginning of March, when Covid 19 had not become a phenomenon yet, I bought this bestselling book on suggestion of my spouse. He read this book when he was young and it left an impression on his mind so deep, that he has been constantly nudging me to read it once.

    So when the lockdown began and I had ample time to stay at home, it was indeed a good thing that I bought this thick read. I sat in peace with coffee & kindle, slowly reading through 1000 pages of the book – “Shantaram”

    When I heard the name of this book, I thought it was written by an Indian author (coz its name sounded so Indian). But, I was mistaken as the writer is actually Australian. Gregory David (the author) was once a convict in an Australian prison. He escaped the prison and somehow ended up living in Mumbai, one of the largest cities in India. Here he took refuge in a slum as he had no money and no belongings.

    He starts a humble life in a slum but eventually joins a mafia gang and becomes a criminal. He makes some friends in this journey who love him, leave him and perhaps also manipulate him. You would gradually see his mental transformation as he lives through all of it. You would also notice how it changes him and makes him almost one of them.

    In this book, the author narrates what he saw, experienced and lived through in the streets of Mumbai. While most books end up boasting the cultural side of India, this book unravels difficult, brutal and sometimes repelling side of this country. The story is so eventful and gripping that it almost feels like a movie. I remember reading the first half of this book in just two weeks.

    Being an Indian, I thought I knew a lot about India, people and their livelihood in general. But I realize now that as a middle class citizen, I was probably too comfortable and ignorant to witness what the massive population of this country lives through on daily basis. I crawled through the last 400 pages of this book,trying to sink in each scene & its description. The details around black market, life in slum, mafia operation and the Afghan war look so realistic that it was hard to believe why the author puts this book in fiction category. I think it might be because he likes to disassociate himself from the doings he describes!

    Anyhow, in a nutshell, I will recommend this book to (at least) other Indians as I’m sure it would give a good perspective of the uglier side of India. A warning though – you need to be open minded to read and appreciate this book. While media, television and most Indian expats promote culture, yoga and Indian food, this book does a decent job describing how life really looks like for more than 60 million people in India.

    If you are an adventurer, planning a trip to India, you might as well like to give this book a try. Just don’t be scared and extrapolate these experiences to your travel plan.

    I’m glad to have finally finished reading this book yesterday! 🙂

    © Copyright 2020. Megha Gupta. All rights reserved.

  • My First Experience of IKEA

    Welcome to the world of IKEA

    The first time I visited IKEA, I remember spending the whole of my Saturday in the IKEA store. Those beautiful preset designs for each room filled my head with so many ideas that I felt like throwing out all our existing furniture.

    It was hard to resist the temptation and looking at our wallets, we decided to buy only a few items.

    The IKEA DELIVERY

    The delivery arrived in small boxes and I was puzzled to see how a bed and sofa could fit in that tiny space. In the box, came a manual, a tool box and some spare parts.

    The holy grail detailed a long list of steps to set up the furniture ourselves. First on the list was our bed.

    The IKEA Test Of Relationship

    I always knew that IKEA had a smart furniture concept and we had to assemble it ourselves. What I didn’t know was that assembling was not a five-finger exercise.

    The list of instructions overwhelmed me and I fiddled clumsily with nuts and bolts. Within an hour, I started feeling tired as I kept thinking about the steps ahead.

    I vent out my anger over my spouse who wasn’t a piece of cake either as he happily passed over all work on my plate!  😡

     

    It felt like IKEA was testing our relationship and so we decided to flee the moment and take a break! 😛

    Beer can make it alright

    Whosoever invented beer should be awarded with a Nobel peace prize. I found no other effective tranquilizer till this date.

    Out in the Cafe, we spent some time eating & drinking while we got our future furniture plans sorted out! 😎

    After this small detour, it was time to get back to work.

    You can do it!

    We came back sharp and started again in full spree. I realized, we weren’t actually doing that bad a job.

    My spouse found content in HIS side of story – of how he has been doing it all right. And I found peace with MY side of story – of how this was not possible without my brilliant tips! 😉

    Next in line -The Sofa!

    © Copyright 2020. Megha Gupta. All rights reserved.

  • This Summer – The Crow Collection

    Usually, I write about my opinions and experiences. Sometimes, grave and sometimes funny. But this post takes a very different route as I feel creative this week.

    So tune in your expectations while I take the creative liberty to bring forward a clothing style that I like to call “The Crow Collection”. 😛 Inspired from the Crow, some of these designs may seem sharp and eerie.

    1. Emily : The American CROW

    This one is an American Crow. The sharp black edges at the top resemble the beak of the crow.

    Her shoe styling complements the sharp edges of the top!

    Overall Style – Sharp & Cutting

    2. Annisa : The Indonesian Crow

    This one is a bright Crow. I call her an Indonesian Crow as she looks somewhat Asian and reminds me of the beautiful sunny beaches in Bali.

    Her beautiful curly hair are contrasted by sharp geometrical edges of her clothes. The bright yellow color of the clothes gives her a casual look.

    Overall Style : Colorful Casual balanced with geometry

    3. Freya : The Nordic CROW

    I call this one a Nordic Crow as the color of her clothes reminds me of a Scandinavian country.

    Her top is grey with pipe like structure and resembles the wings of a Crow. Bottom is a long black, devilish looking hem.

    Her hair looks neat and she wears a goggle representing the cool & calmness of Nordic countries. (in stressful times like these).

    Overall Style – Modern and Cool.

    4. Zhang Xiu Ying : The Chinese Crow

    Well, I like to call her – a Chinese Crow. She could as well be a Japanese, Korean or some other Crow but I like to stick with Chinese version mainly because China is so much in news that it’s on top of my head right now.

    Her clothes are designed in shades of grey with sharp dividing lines. The close shades symbolize the many close varieties of a Crow.

    Overall Style : Transitional and sharp

    5. Menaka : The Indian CRow

    Now, I call this one as an Indian crow, mainly because of the colors and design. Her attire reminds me of hand woven clothes and embroidery in India. If you look at her top, it resembles a flying crow.

    Overall Style : Colorful traditional with a hidden crow.

    So, that ends my “Summer Crow collection”. I hope you had fun watching it. 😉

    Do you like any of these? Then cast your vote and maybe we can call out a winner. 😀

    © Copyright 2020. Megha Gupta. All rights reserved.

  • I wouldn’t have known North Korea without this Book

    [Spoilers from the book included]

    Few years back, if you were to ask me about North Korea, I would tell you – it’s just some country in East Asia. I didn’t know then about the totalitarian regime in North Korea and how distinct it was from South Korea. Neither did I know, how life in North Korea differed from rest of the world.

    Last summer, when I read a book titled ” A river in darkness – One man’s escape from North Korea, I uncovered the mystery of life in North Korea. It painted a picture so deep in my memory, that I still find myself thinking about it some days.

    This book, is a story of its author – Masaji Ishikawa, who moved to North Korea when he was just thirteen years old. Before moving to North Korea, he lived in Japan with his parents, His father was originally from South Korea while his mother hailed from Japan. After their marriage, his parents moved to Japan, where his mother earned little wages from menial jobs and his father grappled with discrimination. The story is set in 1960s, just a few years after the Korean war.

    Somewhere around that time, the government of North Korea launched a propaganda to attract millions of Koreans from Japan. They desperately needed laborers to rebuild economy after the Korean war and luring back Korean immigrants seemed an easy option. North Korea was promoted as a land of opportunities with jobs, free education and food for all. Masaji’s father, who was brainwashed with these false promises, convinced his entire family to move to North Korea. He didn’t know then, the stark differences that exist between North and South Korea(where he hailed from).

    Masaji remembers the first meal he received after the long journey to North Korea. It was rubber like chewy & pungent smelling meat from remains of an animal. Hungry and tired, he quickly ate whatever was served to him but felt deeply disgusted once he learned it was a dog. He did not know then, that food was a privilege in North Korea and not everyone slept with their stomachs filled. Anything that was alive was deemed edible and people felt grateful to be able to just eat.

    Upon their arrival, Masaji and his family were taken to a small village and granted a small hut. All their personal luxuries were either stripped off or stolen soon. Anyone who dared to speak against the government officers, disappeared overnight. Equality existed in the neighborhood in sense that everyone was poor. And if anyone, managed to afford any luxury, the government made sure to rip that off and beat him to death.

    Masaji describes how his schooling tamed him in North Korea. He arrived there while he was young and learned to obey like all other children in his school. They learned to sing praises for Kim II sung – the ruler of North Korea. Their teachers made them regard Kim II sung as their holy father. It was natural to grow up as a blind devotee and loose any independent thinking.

    What I found moving in this book was the constant description of hunger. Masaji and his family starved for months on rations that were meant to last for few days. They were forced into hard labor and their combined earnings rarely sufficed to buy any food. They woke up every morning, thinking about food and slept on empty stomachs, dreaming about food. Most of his family members died of hunger year after year while Masaji somehow survived in North Korea. He had no money and no connections which made it difficult for him to escape the country. He ended up spending thirty years of his life in North Korea.

    And then one day, he finally managed to escape the country, alone. I thought his agony would come to an end after his escape from North Korea. But unfortunately, that was not true. Masaji never managed to bring back his family to Japan and lived the rest of his life worrying about his wife and kids, who were stuck in North Korea. He could also not make a decent living in Japan as he lacked education 7 skills that were deemed crucial for most jobs.

    After I finished reading this book, I felt restless. The emotional torment of Masaji’s survival was devastating. He escaped North Korea in 1990s. That does not seem far too behind in the history!

    I wonder how North Korea has changed since then. Very often, I hear strange pieces of information about North Korea – Threat of nuclear attacks, disruption of all communication with South Korea , military escalations and so on. I wonder what people living in North Korea experience ? Do they still suffer? Are there more Masajis, whom we must rescue? And if yes, who will own the responsibility to establish their rights and freedom?

    © Copyright 2020. Megha Gupta. All rights reserved.

  • One Month of Blog Promotion Misery

    the Beginning OF SOMETHING

    The day my blog went live, I remember being super excited, wide awake in the night. The idea of this new venture, that was my very own occupied my mind completely. I imagined myself as a writer, a blogger and a budding author! My mind raced through monthly, quarterly and annual plans. And then feeling content with the exhaustive planning, I dozed off to sleep.

    My first blog was live and whatever the heck I wrote, was out in open.

    WEEK 1 : Welcome to my BLOG

    Facebook, here I come!

    The first week after my blog went live was a “hello world” moment for me and I was excited about people reading my blog. I turned to one stop for all audience – Facebook.

    I joined umpteen communities in a day, all dedicated to writing, reading and blogging. Naive and hopeful, I shared my first blog post with all the groups at once

    Within minutes, my phone started buzzing with numerous notifications. Excited to see what the members thought, I jumped to see notifications. What I saw next was completely crazy!.

    The starving members of the groups saw my post as an opportunity to advertise their own blogs. Nobody cared what my post was about and everybody instead shared their links, requesting me to visit them. I was so frustrated that I thought I was probably better off without Facebook. I gave it a try a few more times only to discover no new outcomes.

    Tired, I decided to give up my brief stint on Facebook.

    Twitter, here I come!

    Disappointed but still determined, I tried another hot spot – the Twitter. I chose my best post and crafted a catchy punchline. Meticulously, I selected the most trending hashtags and sent out my first blogging tweet.

    Within seconds, came a pile of new tweets on top of mine and mine literally vanished from the screen. I scrolled through the window endlessly but could not find my own tweet. It garnered no likes and no comments and shamefully brought zero blog visits.

    Discouraged, I dozed off to sleep that night.

    WEEK 2 : HELLO WORLD – take two!

    Instagram for beginners

    I imagined week two as another start and decided to explore Instagram.

    Few clicks here & there and my Insta account was setup in minutes. I gathered modest following within a day, mostly including my friends & relatives. I followed people who were deemed “Influencers” & dedicated their profiles to food, travel or Art. And soon, my Insta feed was filled with images of clumsy dishes to child like paintings to amateur travel videos.

    Realizing all content garners engagement on Insta, I became optimistic. I drafted my first post – a photo from my blog with a smart caption & link next to it. And there it went live – My first Instagram post!

    To my surprise, Insta didn’t recognize links. It was only tailored for pictures and videos. I felt dumb for not knowing this before and I tried a quick fix by re-posting link in comments. And, when it still landed as text again, I simply deleted my first Insta post.

    I mourned for some days until the week finally ended. Week two was a take two and yet another failed attempt in promoting my blog.

    WEEK 3 : I’m going NUTS

    Did you try Reddit?

    I was tired after two weeks of this rigorous regime that got me no where with my blog’s visibility. All popular channels, I knew, were already explored, used and discarded. My blog visits remained stagnant and I wondered if I had any more options.

    It was then, I read about Reddit. It seemed to be a discussion forum where many communities existed & surprisingly, they all showcased two way communication. I strolled through some interesting communities and joined all of them. I drafted my first Reddit post and pushed the submit button.

    I was shocked to see when nothing appeared on the community pages. A message popped open, saying “I did not meet the karma requirements”.

    I wondered what Karma meant and who invented these strange terminologies. In gruelling anger, I deleted Reddit from my phone.

    Let’s not forget LinkedIn

    Two days passed in fury and resentment and then it dawned on me that I did not try LinkedIn. Now, I was fairly active on professional networks and wondered where I could share my blogging posts.

    I scrolled through pages of relevant groups and quickly dropped in a join request.

    But many of those groups already had thousands of members and no longer accepted any new members. So, I was left stranded on their waiting list.

    WEEK 4 : Back to Square One

    What everybody says on Word Press?

    Exhausted from my previous attempts, I finally looked up – what Word Press had to offer. I was amazed to see thousands of posts about blog promotions. Many boasted about using plugins and I thought – Maybe this could be it!

    To my dismay, all plugins came with paid plans and the price of those made me anxious. I wasn’t thrifty but I wasn’t a spender either. So, three weeks of my agony couldn’t push me into buying anything. Instead, it pushed me to stop looking before I go nuts!

    So, in a bid to remain sane, I decided to stop thinking about blog promotion anymore.

    Let’s start Writing.

    By the end of the week , normalcy started kicking in and I started regaining my focus again.

    I felt unburdened and somehow relieved by not having to think about viewership.

    And then, I started writing again – writing with the sole purpose of writing.

    Month Two begins!

    © Copyright 2020. Megha Gupta. All rights reserved.

  • I’ve been to the House of Dracula

    Growing up, I watched umpteen horror shows, each portraying a different flavor of Dracula.
    Sometimes they were blood sucking bats,
    Sometimes Vampires and
    Some times just monstrous undead.
    I always wondered – “How we came to believe in the existence of Dracula?”

    Last winter, I visited the city of Brasov in Romania. It was then, when I heard about the Bran Castle, also known as -“The Dracula Castle”. Curious to uncover the mystery of Dracula, I visited this castle.

    According to a legend, “The Original Dracula” stayed here in the 15th Century. He was a notorious prince named ‘Vlad Tepes’, who had a brutal reputation of a murderer. He took over the name ” The Son of the Dracul” – dracul meaning a dragon, in Romania.

    In 19th Century, the first novel on Dracula was published. (by Bram Stoker). Deemed to be inspired from this prince, the novel set its background in this castle.

    The climb to the castle was a bit mountainous and it had plenty of wind from all directions. I visited this in a cold winter and it seemed pretty dark and daunting then. The outside of the castle was old and more like an ancient fort. When, I went inside, I was surprised by its cozy interior.

    It looked very modern with wooden furnishings in every room. I understood later, that the castle was renovated in 19th Century by the last residing queen of Romania – Queen Marie.

    The castle held an exhibit in a room called “The torture chamber”. It demonstrated several tools of torment used in earlier centuries.

    The gory stories of the past reminded me of the “Original Dracula” – Prince Vlad, as he employed several methods of torture and mutilation to his enemies

    A story goes that he did not shy away from boiling or skinning his victims alive but preferred to drive a wooden stake through their bodies, leaving them to die of exposure. Some particularly gruesome accounts also claim that he liked to dine among these impaled bodies and would dip his bread into their blood.

    Yuckk! I felt glad, having not witnessed that century. No wonder why the Dracula still invokes fear.

    Some walls in the castle also shared the tales of Dracula. They set a vibe of this historical connection.

    After strolling through the castle for around an hour, I discovered from a guide that there is in fact, an entirely different side to this story. It could be – that this is no Dracula Castle at all.

    Some evidences suggest that Prince Vlad never set a foot in this castle. Bram Stoker, in his novel – Dracula, wrote about a castle but also, never set his foot in this castle. A lot of people, therefore doubt if this indeed is the house of Dracula.

    For what is still interesting to know, is the fact that Dracula captures its essence from prince Vlad (the son of Dracul) who lived in a castle in Romania. And this is perhaps the only place that fits all descriptions of that Castle.

    So, I like to believe that I’ve been to the house of dracula.

    Dracula Castle – checked!

    © Copyright 2020. Megha Gupta. All rights reserved.