What's on my Mind

Tag: health

  • 0% Alcohol living

    0% Alcohol living

    In 2018, I was in Belgium. I remember going to the beer festival for the very first time. At the heart of the city center in Bruges was this small ground with hundreds of tents and locally brewed beers on sale. There were more than 200 variety to choose from. Sour beer, fresh hops, IPAs, Lager, Pilsner and what not. Me and my partner waited in a queue for more than an hour to purchase the tokens for the fest. I didn’t know how many tokens to buy until we were actually short of them. That’s how we knew – we had enough. We tasted a dozen that day.
    I was a social drinker back then and loved exploring. I wanted to even take up a brewing course.

    Following years were not the same.

    In 2020, I suffered an injury.
    My hip bone was damaged. I spent a month in extreme pain, thinking it was a sprain. Following up revealed that I might need a hip replacement. I was 31 back then and it scared the sh*t out of me.

    It didn’t come to that. (Fortunately!)

    An interim treatment worked. I spent six months on walker and it took a year of physiotherapy to resume my day to day activities. During that period, I was bound to stay away from alcohol. Alcohol free lifestyle happened to me.

    My first few months of zero alcohol living did not come easy. After a tiring work week, I felt the desire to have a drink. I craved social drinking on weekends. I couldn’t eat pizza without a beer. I missed wine while eating pasta or meat. All that was fun, was stripped away. My plight grew stronger when I met family and friends in social setting. Everyone drank. Everyone laughed. Everyone was light headed while I was wide awake and sharp, struggling to let go my consciousness.
    It was hard to remain comfortable in my own skin.

    So,I was pushed to find alternatives. To break free from the associations I created in my mind; dissociate socialising from alcohol. Cola became my companion soon. It was a great replacement for some time. (Of course after a while, you’ve got to leave it coz you get addicted to it.) I tried mocktails, juices, sparkling water, coffee, tea and everything that was categorised under non-alcoholic beverage section.

    After close to ten months of this new lifestyle, I discovered I was no longer craving for wine or beer with food. My craving to eat junk food also reduced. I could sit in a pub full of people drinking, and still enjoy a normal conversation. I lost more than eight kilos merely by cutting down alcohol. I felt this new energy inside me.

    Alcohol free living also did wonders to my emotional health. I realised when I didn’t drink after a stressful day, I was left open to introspect, to think what caused the stress in first place. Not numbing those thoughts was the best choice I made for myself.
    It pushed me to accept my reality, act on it and change my environment.
    I’ve found myself in a much happier place since then. So, I decided to sustain the lifestyle ever since.

    It has now been more than two years since I went on no alcohol regime. I’ve learned to be comfortable in my own skin while I consciously choose to stay alcohol free. It gives me a sense of control over my well being. I still love the smell of hop every time I sit in a pub. Guess that’s why they invented the 0% beer. (for people like me. 🙂 )

    © Copyright 2022. Megha Gupta. All rights reserved.

  • A little (Over)weight

    I’d always been a chubby kid. I don’t reckon a skinny version of myself. (except for maybe a short span in my twenties, when I stayed in a dorm. Food was plenty but inedible). I don’t recollect ever being tensed about gaining a few pounds here or there. I was rather carefree, adjusting my wardrobe instead. 😛 That went perfectly fine as long as I stayed in India. ( they ain’t all perfectly carved out models there!). Moving to Netherlands however, changed my perspective. Suddenly, I was surrounded by fitness freaks! 😳

    Surprise.. Surprise!

    It all started with those evening walks outside my home. That’s when the first signs of frustration started brewing in. I walked like a sightseeing tourist, while men & women surpassed me, running ahead in shorts & sneakers.Then there were those on cycles, wearing suits and ties, commuting miles to and fro for work. To top this up, people played heavy duty sports after a long day at work, flaunting their “celebrity” like bodies, while I sat there, questioning my life time choices. 🙄

    I was an oddity. (The chubby one) and I didn’t even know how much of it was an “extra me”. So, I decided to tread on the path of self discovery. Mustering little courage I had, I jumped onto the weighting machine.

    Not all surprises are good. This was deeply disturbing. I had gained quite a few pounds here and there, surpassing my “acceptable” limit. 😥

    Time for new resolutions

    The problem solver in me was awake that night. I couldn’t dwell into getting depressed for long. So, I came up with a personal goal list and stuck it on the wall across my hall.
    It was concise and clear. (just like my conscience 😎 ).

    I saw it every morning before leaving the house. I saw it every evening before going to the bed. That constant reinforcement made me believe I was on top of solving this issue for once and for all. It was under “my” control.

    The First timers complex

    Soon, I decided to join a gym. I’ve been to a gym before but my definition of workout did not go beyond a few cardio exercises. So when the trainer asked me to try those gazillion other equipment, I was stumped. 😯 I had no clue of how any of it worked.


    I fiddled with the weights clumsily, while the trainer felt nervous about me breaking the instruments. 😆 He stayed calm (on the outside) and patiently demoed the basics to me. I felt embarrassed around all those professionals.

    It took me a week to tame my anxious self.

    Thank God it’s Sunday

    Soon, the weekend arrived. I wasn’t particularly pleased with my tough regime of diet and exercise. It sucked my energy. (& my soul). So, I planned a dinner with my spouse to a fancy restaurant, thinking it might as well help me relax.

    My spouse ordered beer and some more beer while I tried to fit in my new role as a “fitness freak”.
    My salad arrived with some sparkling water and I chewed like a cow, realizing this evening couldn’t have been duller indeed. 🙄

    Darkness is the evil

    We came back home with a full stomach but I had trouble falling asleep. 🙁 I couldn’t help but think about the delicious cuisines, I might have eaten instead. My craving grew as the hours passed and all my will power finally gave in.

    For the sake of sleep and the work next day, I decided to eat a “little” something.

    I strolled through the kitchen and took a good long look at all our collectibles. I handpicked a few of my favourites, just to start with.

    Definitely not in “my” control

    My guilt turned off as I switched on TV. And as I ate, I felt more hungry.
    Turns out, that night, I ate for the whole week.

    The Aftermath

    I woke up next morning feeling ashamed.
    I saw my goal list and felt so guilty.

    Clearly something had to change, either me or the goal list.

    And that’s when I did this little something. 😎

    #stillchubby

    © Copyright 2020. Megha Gupta. All rights reserved.