Category: Experience

If you haven’t heard of Auschwitz, Imagine a slaughter house (not for animals, but for humans). Imagine a place where millions of Jews were confined for years, tortured to death by hard labour, thirst, extreme hunger and suffocation. The reason for death being- neither Crime nor War but the belief in a superior race. Imagine how humans could be responsible for more than a million deaths in a place this small. (in the name of saving humanity from other humans – Jews). Auschwitz is not old history but very much a part of recent century. Nazi Germany master minded this extermination camp (and many others) during world war ii with the sole aim of systematically eradicating the race of Jews.

So last year, when I planned my visit to Auschwitz, it was not unusual for people to ask why I would choose to go there? Wouldn’t it be depressing? In my defense, not visiting this place, merely excuses us from reality, hoping we forget it someday. There is No history book that can convey the happenings of this place to a degree that it instils your memory.

Somewhere inside Auschwitz, I found this quote that sums up the reason why people need to see this place.

I cannot deny the fact that this place is downright melancholy. You would be standing in the site of holocaust witnessing Exhibits of the dead (millions) piled on top of one another. It has a room full of belongings that were stripped off from the inmates before they entered the camp. A room full of gas canisters that were used to suffocate them to death. A room full of human hair that were shaved off from their dead bodies before being burned by the Nazis.

A guide will take you around the camp and tell you how a typical day looked like for these prisoners. You will see the laboratory that was used to experiment on prisoners, inducing them with deadly diseases. You will see the kitchen that has some paintings that the prisoners drew to keep themselves hopeful. You will also see the punishment cells, gas chambers, the shooting wall and a room fitted with body sized ovens. If this does not melt your heart, a thousand photo frames mounted in a large corridor showing the victims, their age and survival span in the camp, definitely would.

By the end of this visit, you are loaded emotionally. Some cry, some hold back tears. Some ponder how humans could be capable of this act. How could some still hope to live in this situation. How strong were the people who survived the camp? Does the trauma impact their free lives later on?

This wasn’t over for me yet. I was feeling restless. A visit to Auschwitz raised some very fundamental questions about human nature, survival and our relative mental strengths. I slept on these questions for days following. Later, I learned about an Auschwitz survivor, a psychologist – Viktor Frankl. Viktor was one of the fortunate ones to have survived this place. He says, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any how “. For Viktor, the why was a hope to finish his book about logotherapy. He wrote this book after he was released from the camp. What was supposed to be psychology theory, turned out to be a truly personal account of his survival in Auschwitz detailing how the camp impacted the inmates psychologically, why some survived while others didn’t.

His book “Man’s search for meaning” was published in 1946 and became an instant bestseller. I read it a month after my visit and regard this as a closure to my quest for Auschwitz.

P.S – The photo at the top, shows the gate of Auschwitz in scripted as ARBEIT MACHT FREI” meaning work makes you free.

Paradoxically, It was death that made these inmates free.

© Copyright 2020. Megha Gupta. All rights reserved.

Back in 2019, that feeling of emptiness kicked in. I had a well paying job, good work life balance, a loving family, good health but I kept wondering if this is it? Will I keep repeating this for the next 50 years of my life? (Thats assuming my life expectancy of 80 yrs or so).

I was 31 then and wondered if this was what they call mid life crisis. It seemed a bit too early for that. I watched umpteen series on Netflix, changed jobs twice in two years, travelled to a new country almost once a month. I was trying to find some meaning to my life, I think.

Sometime then, we went to a live comedy show by Kevin Hart. I watched his shows on television (always funny) and he was one of the very few comedians I knew by name. We bought tickets to his show and were not disappointed. I still remember some of his jokes. His strength, what I think is powerful story telling. He makes you imagine every scene to the precise perfection like he envisions. He laughs with you so hard that you feel like he and you are in the same scene.

It was after this show, that I also heard about his book – I can’t make this up – life lessons kevin hart. I just bought it thinking it would be a funny bedtime read. I didn’t expect any more from it then.

It didn’t occur to me then that comedians can also write about themselves, about their life and that it has power to inspire someone. Now to be clear, I had no dream of becoming a comedian myself (not that I could. I don’t find humour easy!) but I still found his book inspiring. What I liked most about it is the tone. Its like kevin is sitting next to you and talking to you. Now he is not giving you some bullshit piece of advice but merely telling you what his childhood was like. What did he do before he became a comedian? How he became one? His marriage, kids, life and so on. And that picture he paints with his story is so real and impactful that you feel like you were right there – when he was growing up, when he had no money, when he was rejected for shows (the ones that chase him now) and when he finally made to the grand stage.

My favourite character from the book is his mother who left no stone unturned to discipline Kevin. He describes her like a military officer in disguise of a Mom. Kevin was downright scared of her. He kept lying to her all his childhood to escape her strict regime. But in the end, it is indeed his mom who grinded those habits in him that could make him committed to his career.

Whats also interesting to know from kevin is how difficult comedy really is. How every line in a comedy show is scripted, practised several times with multiple audiences before it is staged live. The punches are improvised for timing, the story is personalised to connect. After rigourous rehearsal and re- rehearsal, the comedian puts his show to the final audience (which might/might not laugh as expected). The audience has power to make or break comedian’s career, his hard earned time on stage.

I finished this book in about a week’s time. I could not help but notice how energetic and optimistic Kevin seems irrespective of his field of work which is so repetitive and exhaustive. He made plenty of bad choices in his life but that does not stop him from making new ones. Infact, he is till exploring.

After reading this book, I planned to brush up my lost passions. Reading was one of them and so is writing. I did not do either since four years. I have resumed them now. Not to gain anything but strangely, when you practice something you like, that feeling of emptiness suddenly disappears.

In 2019, I read 24 books. I also bought a journal app for my phone to start writing again. I write most days.

Thanks! To Kevin! To my first book in 2019!

© Copyright 2020. Megha Gupta. All rights reserved.