What's on my Mind

Category: Experience

  • I’ve been to the House of Dracula

    Growing up, I watched umpteen horror shows, each portraying a different flavor of Dracula.
    Sometimes they were blood sucking bats,
    Sometimes Vampires and
    Some times just monstrous undead.
    I always wondered – “How we came to believe in the existence of Dracula?”

    Last winter, I visited the city of Brasov in Romania. It was then, when I heard about the Bran Castle, also known as -“The Dracula Castle”. Curious to uncover the mystery of Dracula, I visited this castle.

    According to a legend, “The Original Dracula” stayed here in the 15th Century. He was a notorious prince named ‘Vlad Tepes’, who had a brutal reputation of a murderer. He took over the name ” The Son of the Dracul” – dracul meaning a dragon, in Romania.

    In 19th Century, the first novel on Dracula was published. (by Bram Stoker). Deemed to be inspired from this prince, the novel set its background in this castle.

    The climb to the castle was a bit mountainous and it had plenty of wind from all directions. I visited this in a cold winter and it seemed pretty dark and daunting then. The outside of the castle was old and more like an ancient fort. When, I went inside, I was surprised by its cozy interior.

    It looked very modern with wooden furnishings in every room. I understood later, that the castle was renovated in 19th Century by the last residing queen of Romania – Queen Marie.

    The castle held an exhibit in a room called “The torture chamber”. It demonstrated several tools of torment used in earlier centuries.

    The gory stories of the past reminded me of the “Original Dracula” – Prince Vlad, as he employed several methods of torture and mutilation to his enemies

    A story goes that he did not shy away from boiling or skinning his victims alive but preferred to drive a wooden stake through their bodies, leaving them to die of exposure. Some particularly gruesome accounts also claim that he liked to dine among these impaled bodies and would dip his bread into their blood.

    Yuckk! I felt glad, having not witnessed that century. No wonder why the Dracula still invokes fear.

    Some walls in the castle also shared the tales of Dracula. They set a vibe of this historical connection.

    After strolling through the castle for around an hour, I discovered from a guide that there is in fact, an entirely different side to this story. It could be – that this is no Dracula Castle at all.

    Some evidences suggest that Prince Vlad never set a foot in this castle. Bram Stoker, in his novel – Dracula, wrote about a castle but also, never set his foot in this castle. A lot of people, therefore doubt if this indeed is the house of Dracula.

    For what is still interesting to know, is the fact that Dracula captures its essence from prince Vlad (the son of Dracul) who lived in a castle in Romania. And this is perhaps the only place that fits all descriptions of that Castle.

    So, I like to believe that I’ve been to the house of dracula.

    Dracula Castle – checked!

    © Copyright 2020. Megha Gupta. All rights reserved.

  • My Tale of Productivity

    HOW I FOUND OUT “MY PRODUCTIVITY” ?

    One morning, I woke up to my iphone notification. A screen popped open and I saw a report of my week long productivity. It displayed my screen time and categorized my usage neatly. On an average , each day, it declared, I was fruitful for barely a few minutes. And shamefully, that number was lower than the previous week.

    I was surprised and anxious with this new discovery. I wondered what it meant and if I needed to improve my “productivity”? I turned to google to solve my worry. The search returned a gazillion results and I was amazed that the topic garnered such popularity.

    AND THEN I DISCOVERED THE CHASE OF PRODUCTIVITY

    Over the next few days, I received Linkedin feeds with tips to increase daily productivity. Good reads recommended self help books and Youtube suggested “Efficiency tips for all activities”. I felt chased by this whole new industry that was thriving out there and feeding on my worry. The need to be productive was packaged and marketed with several success stories. It was hard to question this need when everyone offered a solution already.

    SO, I SEARCHED THE ROOT OF PRODUCTIVITY

    I looked up further and discovered the history. The origin of productivity went back to 18th century. When agriculture couldn’t produce enough surplus, we devised the term -“land productivity”. It measured the yield of crops per hectare land and served an indicator of agricutural output. The idea was simple and implied improving material efficiency.

    Then came the industrial evolution and productivity became an indicator of profitability. It measured the units of output produced per input cost. Labour was a cost. And in our bid to increase productivity (& thereby profitability), we started focusing on labour efficiency.

    AND HOW IT EVOLVED TO HUMAN PRODUCTIVITY

    The need for labour efficiency gave birth to the concept of human productivity. We became result centric and measured all activities in terms of productivity.

    Our desperation to be fruitful, narrowed our choices. We pursued all actions that guaranteed an outcome and spent little time in self discovery.

    Productivity equals success equals self worth became the idea and we tuned our minds to this assembly line thinking.

    AND THEN I STOPPED WORRYING ABOUT PRODUCTIVITY

    I decided, I no longer needed to be reminded of my productivity. I couldn’t let an industry thrive on my vulnerability.

    I snoozed my iphone reports so my mind wandered free. I felt unburdened and suddenly relieved.

    That’s when I started writing my two cents on productivity.

    © Copyright 2020. Megha Gupta. All rights reserved.

  • How I spent four years in The Netherlands

    YEAR 1 : The Honeymoon Period

    Europe has always amused me as a child so I was really excited when my boyfriend (now spouse) asked me to join him in Netherlands. I was young, in my 20’s (head over heels in love), and quickly agreed to move to Netherlands.

    My first year in Netherlands is what I call -” The Honeymoon Period”. I was in awe of the picturesque landscape of this country. On my way from airport to home, I saw windmills, cows and pastures. The cows were so white that it seemed they were painted and I remember clicking photos while the bypassers stared.

    We were headed to live in the most popular city of the Netherlands – Amsterdam.

    In my first month, I stumbled over countless bicycles that always came with lightning speed. It occurred to me later, that I wasn’t supposed to walk on some roads – the cycle paths. The centre of the city was densely populated and we strolled neck to neck on shopping streets. We spent weekends discovering cafes, bars and clubs.To my surprise, I saw weed and Marijuana sold on street outlets – named “Coffee shops!” . Beer was sold in supermarkets and people relaxed on boats in canals, while sipping Heineken and soaking the sun.

    It was unlike any other country I’ve been to and I imagined if this was what they meant by paradise!

    YEAR 2 : Take me back, please!

    The honeymoon period was over soon and I started taking notice of my surroundings more. In the months that followed, I became grumpy old woman who constantly cribbed and announced to go back home. I hated the weather which was so unpredictable and kept questioning which season it was? I walked to work, drenched in rain and fought the wind to get back home. Most weekends, there was no sun and I laid on my sofa watching television.

    Months went by and the boredom peaked. So, I decided to undertake a mission to socialize. Beginning with the closest proximity, I approached our neighbour. – Ms. Linde. I stopped by her door while she muttered in Dutch. I waved my head while I tried to listen. She smiled at me and I just felt dumb. It seemed, I needed a hearing aid coz all I could hear was “Ghhs” and Hello.

    I tried my luck with the next the two floors, ringing their bells with quite some hope. Neither responded so I came back home and switched on the T.V ,once more. Tired and resentful, I announced again – “I will go back. Would you also come?”.

    YEAR 3 : A Ray of hope


    Soon, new year arrived and I made new resolutions. I remember, this year was “A Ray of Hope”. I decided to master Dutch, so I joined a language course. Learning from basics – the alphabets, numbers and months, I felt being back to the primary school. The good thing though, was I met more expats who shared my plight and reckoned my struggle. We formed a cult and I booked our agendas so my weekends were no longer dull.

    At home, I displayed my brand new skills and babbled dutch words every day. I became hopeful and my happy self, relieving my spouse from new complaints.

    YEAR 4 : Orientation Completed

    My training, last year, infused Dutch culture and I found myself in between crossroads. I celebrated King’s day and also Diwali. I couldn’t miss Easter or Sinterklaas either.

    At home, things changed too and we changed food menu. We bought a book to cook dutch food . My spouse split bills and I split chores. We bought new cycles and rolled through the city. I crashed some tourists , who walked wrong roads.

    Orientation ends. Year 5 begins..!

    © Copyright 2020. Megha Gupta. All rights reserved.

  • What was it like to visit Auschwitz?

    If you haven’t heard of Auschwitz, Imagine a slaughter house (not for animals, but for humans). Imagine a place where millions of Jews were confined for years, tortured to death by hard labour, thirst, extreme hunger and suffocation. The reason for death being- neither Crime nor War but the belief in a superior race. Imagine how humans could be responsible for more than a million deaths in a place this small. (in the name of saving humanity from other humans – Jews). Auschwitz is not old history but very much a part of recent century. Nazi Germany master minded this extermination camp (and many others) during world war ii with the sole aim of systematically eradicating the race of Jews.

    So last year, when I planned my visit to Auschwitz, it was not unusual for people to ask why I would choose to go there? Wouldn’t it be depressing? In my defense, not visiting this place, merely excuses us from reality, hoping we forget it someday. There is No history book that can convey the happenings of this place to a degree that it instils your memory.

    Somewhere inside Auschwitz, I found this quote that sums up the reason why people need to see this place.

    I cannot deny the fact that this place is downright melancholy. You would be standing in the site of holocaust witnessing Exhibits of the dead (millions) piled on top of one another. It has a room full of belongings that were stripped off from the inmates before they entered the camp. A room full of gas canisters that were used to suffocate them to death. A room full of human hair that were shaved off from their dead bodies before being burned by the Nazis.

    A guide will take you around the camp and tell you how a typical day looked like for these prisoners. You will see the laboratory that was used to experiment on prisoners, inducing them with deadly diseases. You will see the kitchen that has some paintings that the prisoners drew to keep themselves hopeful. You will also see the punishment cells, gas chambers, the shooting wall and a room fitted with body sized ovens. If this does not melt your heart, a thousand photo frames mounted in a large corridor showing the victims, their age and survival span in the camp, definitely would.

    By the end of this visit, you are loaded emotionally. Some cry, some hold back tears. Some ponder how humans could be capable of this act. How could some still hope to live in this situation. How strong were the people who survived the camp? Does the trauma impact their free lives later on?

    This wasn’t over for me yet. I was feeling restless. A visit to Auschwitz raised some very fundamental questions about human nature, survival and our relative mental strengths. I slept on these questions for days following. Later, I learned about an Auschwitz survivor, a psychologist – Viktor Frankl. Viktor was one of the fortunate ones to have survived this place. He says, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any how “. For Viktor, the why was a hope to finish his book about logotherapy. He wrote this book after he was released from the camp. What was supposed to be psychology theory, turned out to be a truly personal account of his survival in Auschwitz detailing how the camp impacted the inmates psychologically, why some survived while others didn’t.

    His book “Man’s search for meaning” was published in 1946 and became an instant bestseller. I read it a month after my visit and regard this as a closure to my quest for Auschwitz.

    P.S – The photo at the top, shows the gate of Auschwitz in scripted as ARBEIT MACHT FREI” meaning work makes you free.

    Paradoxically, It was death that made these inmates free.

    © Copyright 2020. Megha Gupta. All rights reserved.

  • My first read in 2019 glued me to books again!

    Back in 2019, that feeling of emptiness kicked in. I had a well paying job, good work life balance, a loving family, good health but I kept wondering if this is it? Will I keep repeating this for the next 50 years of my life? (Thats assuming my life expectancy of 80 yrs or so).

    I was 31 then and wondered if this was what they call mid life crisis. It seemed a bit too early for that. I watched umpteen series on Netflix, changed jobs twice in two years, travelled to a new country almost once a month. I was trying to find some meaning to my life, I think.

    Sometime then, we went to a live comedy show by Kevin Hart. I watched his shows on television (always funny) and he was one of the very few comedians I knew by name. We bought tickets to his show and were not disappointed. I still remember some of his jokes. His strength, what I think is powerful story telling. He makes you imagine every scene to the precise perfection like he envisions. He laughs with you so hard that you feel like he and you are in the same scene.

    It was after this show, that I also heard about his book – I can’t make this up – life lessons kevin hart. I just bought it thinking it would be a funny bedtime read. I didn’t expect any more from it then.

    It didn’t occur to me then that comedians can also write about themselves, about their life and that it has power to inspire someone. Now to be clear, I had no dream of becoming a comedian myself (not that I could. I don’t find humour easy!) but I still found his book inspiring. What I liked most about it is the tone. Its like kevin is sitting next to you and talking to you. Now he is not giving you some bullshit piece of advice but merely telling you what his childhood was like. What did he do before he became a comedian? How he became one? His marriage, kids, life and so on. And that picture he paints with his story is so real and impactful that you feel like you were right there – when he was growing up, when he had no money, when he was rejected for shows (the ones that chase him now) and when he finally made to the grand stage.

    My favourite character from the book is his mother who left no stone unturned to discipline Kevin. He describes her like a military officer in disguise of a Mom. Kevin was downright scared of her. He kept lying to her all his childhood to escape her strict regime. But in the end, it is indeed his mom who grinded those habits in him that could make him committed to his career.

    Whats also interesting to know from kevin is how difficult comedy really is. How every line in a comedy show is scripted, practised several times with multiple audiences before it is staged live. The punches are improvised for timing, the story is personalised to connect. After rigourous rehearsal and re- rehearsal, the comedian puts his show to the final audience (which might/might not laugh as expected). The audience has power to make or break comedian’s career, his hard earned time on stage.

    I finished this book in about a week’s time. I could not help but notice how energetic and optimistic Kevin seems irrespective of his field of work which is so repetitive and exhaustive. He made plenty of bad choices in his life but that does not stop him from making new ones. Infact, he is till exploring.

    After reading this book, I planned to brush up my lost passions. Reading was one of them and so is writing. I did not do either since four years. I have resumed them now. Not to gain anything but strangely, when you practice something you like, that feeling of emptiness suddenly disappears.

    In 2019, I read 24 books. I also bought a journal app for my phone to start writing again. I write most days.

    Thanks! To Kevin! To my first book in 2019!

    Buy your next read here

     

    © Copyright 2020. Megha Gupta. All rights reserved.